Debts

Today is a day that most people celebrate.  I imagine someone laughing allll the way to the post office.  To the person who pays off their student loans, this would be a day to jump for joy.  To rejoice that their education is paid in full and to feel comfortable being debt free.  I have pictured this day for as long as I have been in college (both undergraduate and graduate).  I have made monthly payments with ridiculous interest attached for over 7 years!

And today, I am one to join those lucky few.  I no longer have that student loan payment each month staring me in the face.  I should be jumping for joy.  I should be totally pumped, but I’ll have to say, I’m not.  It's more of a bittersweet celebration.  You see, the way that I am no longer stuck in the student loan debt cycle is because of my Daddy. 

For as long as I can remember, Daddy always said he wanted to pay off my students loans for me. He promised that he would help me in any way possible.  And, in the worst way I could possibly imagine, he did.  Writing a check to pay off my loans was so raw this morning.  Sealing that envelope and addressing the College Foundation of North Carolina and American Education Success was enough to pull my heart right out of my chest.  There is not enough money in the entire world that any one person could give me to have my Daddy back here with me.  I would give my entire pay check every month if I could just have one more hug.

In a few days, months, years I know that I will be able to look back and see this day as a happy one, and know that Daddy is smiling down on me and is proud of what all I’ve done and accomplished. Today, it’s just hard.